Thanks.
And yes, I thought that only Ginji is able to handle a situation like that...
As for the Gonou-scene... I think it's rather deplorable, but here you go:
The trial was over and all that was left to do was to wait for the verdict. Cho Gonou had no illusions as to what that verdict would be - too heavy was the crime he had committed, too many lives had ended by his hands.
Genjo Sanzo, the monk who had captured him and also defended him during the trial, was sitting at the table and studied the newspaper. Though, for some reason Gonou couldn't shake off the feeling that Sanzo-sama was keeping an eye on him rather than the printed words. The metal of Gonou's shackle chains clicked together when he reached for the cup of tea that was standing on the table.
The hot liquid burned his fingers through the china, but Gonou didn't feel pain, had not really felt pain since Kannan had taken her own life. Kannan. The carnage he had committed to rescue her had not prevented her death, had just shown him how worthless his own life was. He had come to terms with that simple fact during those long hours in Sha Gojyo's care, even accepted his rescue by the kind gambler as part of the punishment for murder a thousand times over.
But the selfish killing hadn't stopped, had it? Gonou still didn't understand why he had shot the last surviving member of the CROW clan, not after listening to the Youkai's part of the story. 'Sacrificing one stranger to rescue those you love.' In a twisted way, by killing those who had abducted Kannan and all of their families with them, Gonou also had made her unwilling sacrifice in vein.
Had Kanan known about the CROW clan's dilemma? It was too late to wonder about this. The clan and Kannan were gone, while Gonou still was around, caught in a tainted body with a soul drowned in blood.
The only reason Gonou had survived as long as he did was to bury Kannan, but even that had been denied to him. Now, there was nothing left to do but perish. Even if the three Aspects would sent him to prison forever instead of a death sentence, it would make no difference, maybe take a few weeks or months longer, but the result would be the same.
Sha Gojyo's face surfaced in the darkness of his mind, crimson hair and blood red eyes that had reminded Gonou of his crime and strengthened his resolve. Some part of him regretted that Gojyo-san had wasted so much time and money on him. He owed the half-youkai more than he could ever repay, for not asking questions, for just offering companionship when the darkness threatened to become too much.
Gojyo-san had fought claws and teeth for Gonou's life, had tried to lure him back to the light, not knowing that this particular fight had a no-win outcome. Not once Gojyo-san had given up his rescue-mission, not even when Gonou had told about the countless innocents he had killed, not even when Sanzo-sama had threatened to shoot him.
'I'm sorry, Gojyo-san. You risked so much trying to save someone who was already dead. I just wished-' And he gasped sharply when the piping hot tea burned his lips and tongue. The sudden sensation made him spill some of the liquid. Careful not to create a bigger mess, Gonou placed the cup back on the table, touching his lips in surprise.
"Hot..." It earned him a curious frown from the monk "I'm sorry."
Well, maybe he wasn't as dead as he wanted after all. Maybe Sanzo-sama's words had taken hold somewhere in the dark pit that had remained of his soul.
Live. Live and you can change something.
Gonou smiled another one of his false smiles, never meeting the monk's eyes, and Sanzo-sama returned his attention back to the newspaper.
Live. Change something. Silly monk. Nothing would bring back the dead. Nothing would change just because Cho Gonou lived. No, Cho Gonou's fate was death, and this was a choice he had made the moment Kanna's lifeblood had splattered on his face.
As I said... it's deplorable. It was my first attempt in figuring out what makers Hakkai/Gonou tick...