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Post by Ganheim on Nov 20, 2004 22:32:48 GMT -5
I've been working on Crossing the Rubicon for a while, and I've got a plan for almost the entire thing, but I'm stuck on the plan for the last two chapters and I can't figure out how to get to the end. I mostly know what end I want to have, my problem is getting there. I'm not sure if I should post my plan for the whole story yet (besides spoiling the plot in case any of you nice people are going to read Crossing the Rubicon ), but if anybody thinks that would help, I'll do it. The idea of a beta reader came to me, and that would be really helpful - I'm not certain that I have a lot of spelling/grammar mistakes to fix, so much a little things like character interaction. Unfortunately, being the omniscient author I am, I'm not sure what information to give, so ask about anything that's not clear and I'll clarify as best I can.
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Post by KarotsaMused on Nov 20, 2004 22:46:46 GMT -5
Gah! I know your predicament and it is one of the *worst* an author can have - writing with a set ending in mind, but no idea how to get there. That is *horrible* - I feel for you, dear! (It happened to me multiple times in original fics, and accounts for practially every hiatus I take from a fanfic...) Heck, once you actually *get* to the ending, you may decide the way you had planned it no longer fits with your vision for the work as a whole. (Geez, I changed my mind at least four times during "Cornerstone", but I'm glad I did!) My beta skills prettymuch take a nosedive after the effects of grammarcheck, but I'd still like to help. Sometimes writing out the whole plan does do you good...and then we can always nitpick it Honestly, great writing shouldn't hinge on plot, but on characterisation and description and message...and those are the things most writers really need to work on. I for one wouldn't mind having the plot spoiled if it means that you will improve
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Post by Ganheim on Nov 21, 2004 18:16:45 GMT -5
Okay, I guess I'll just post the entire plan I have right now. As of this post, I've already posted up to Chapter 6: The Mantis, and I've written up to Chapter 13: Dogs of War but haven't posted those because nobody's reviewed the earlier chapters.
Chapter 1: Of Two Worlds: -Introduce Kagome, bored in school – mention of Inuyasha past characters. -Introduce Inuyasha band, in a rainstorm (waiting for Kagome to return). -Introduce Igaro, Naraku instructing him to teleport Kagome to the other side of the mountains. -Introduce Kaizor characters (Kokeyera goes through, rest pause to talk; Shugojin, Reiko go through; Giniro pauses to wonder at what might be in the Dark World). -Kokeyera chased by hired ruffians in the rain, fends them off with Fire magic. -Kagome discovered missing, Inuyasha group begins searching.
Chapter 2: An Old Acquaintance: -Other Kaizor characters enter, Giniro runs off. -Giniro saves Kagome from the ruffians. -Inuyasha group finds unconscious Kokeyera in a small clearing, notes singed foliage. -Giniro (& Kagome) meet Kouga, who thinks Giniro Inuyasha and inadvertently insults Giniro’s mother. A short fight follows, revealing Giniro’s combat training. -Mara finds Kokeyera, leaves to tell Reiko & Shugojin. -Naraku spawns new incarnation and introduces a couple others (Kagura’s POV), Kagura sent to fetch Kagome.
Chapter 3: The Ancients: -Stopping to camp, Giniro and Kagome talk (about Kokeyera, concerned she’s in a different plane). -Kagura finds Kokeyera (& Inuyasha group, early morning). Before many words can be exchanged, a fight breaks out. Before Miroku’s Wind Tunnel or the Tetsusaiga’s abilities can be brought up, Kokeyera steps to the front and unleashes magic spells, kind of showing off. She runs out of mana as Shugojin and Reiko arrive. A couple of arrows fly before Kagura leaves with Kanna; Reiko and Shugojin join up. Reiko (whose personality is like Inuyasha) wastes no time in starting an argument. -Kagome and Giniro walk from camp. Kagome notices Giniro’s hand shaking and asks, Giniro nervously avoids the question and mutters in Elvish. Giniro senses Kanna, Kagura arrives. A fight breaks out and Giniro takes minor injuries before Koukatsu arrives. He breaks up the fight and sends Kagura away, preventing Kagome from killing her. -Kagura returns, planning to tell Naraku that somehow the ‘new ones’ can sense Kanna. -Naraku has a memory/dream of Hir in-Yngyl.
Chapter 4: Reunion and Return: -Troops reunite -While walking back to Edo, the troops talk (Koukatsu thinks - the Kaizor troop went through time or across the planes, others talk about how the members joined). Kagome returns home.
Chapter 5: Complications: -Kagome, about to return to the feudal era, is reminded by her mother about the foreign exchange student (remembers signing up for program at beginning of year) – (a sort of introduction of Cadmus, who appears at the end). -Kagome returns through the well, surprised to find nobody waiting for her (but Inuyasha quickly arrives, then smacks Shippo for the implication that he’s especially glad Kagome’s back). The others were busy practicing/talking around Edo. -Kagura passes by Naraku, thinking about Sesshomaru, and hears Naraku mutter about finding Hir in-Yngyl and a dark army. -Introduce Midarenko in the Dark World.
Chapter 6: The Mantis: -While walking along the road, troops hear about village besieged by single demon. Giniro volunteers to destroy it. -Naraku’s new plan discussed with his incarnations (including new Gina, plan to steal blood from Kokeyera/Reiko to make the next), mentions a mantis to lure the troops. The incarnations are sent to prepare the discussed ambush, Kagura sent to find Hir in-Yngyl. -Koukatsu reveals himself to Kagura, talks with her, subtly directs her to a temple (holding ‘the humanform’). -Midarenko (Dark World) finds one of Koukatsu’s mirrors and teleports into Earth, Koukatsu notices and goes to fetch her. -Kagura fetches Naraku to investigate/revive the lieutenant. -Night comes, troops begin fight against praying mantis demon (its limbs each upgraded with jewel shard).
Chapter 7: Protector: -(Longer fight scene) The troops slay the praying mantis demons.
Chapter 8: Revival Fire: -Naraku begins reviving the lieutenant. -Troops enjoy celebration at the village of last stands. -Humanform says the others must be awakened to revive the ‘dark army’ (pandering Naraku’s ego to revive the swarm and seek his master), and giving a suspicious warning against Koukatsu. Kagura leaves with the excuse to find Hir in-Yngyl. -Mara returns (Koukatsu returns with Midarenko soon after). Kagura finds the troop, tells Koukatsu the spider lieutenants are being revived and the search for Hir in-Yngyl may begin (though Naraku will not want the “lord of the spiders” revived for control reasons). Koukatsu leaves in such a rush he leaves Midarenko with the others (but he does make Mara promise to “stay out of mortal affairs”). -Incarnations arrive and begin ambush fight with troops.
Chapter 9: Awakening: -With Midarenko’s (and everybody’s combined) help, troops beat back the incarnations. -Incarnations report back in failure. Naraku is angry but sends them out with demon army while preparing “the swarm” (starting to revive the spider swarm). -Incarnations and demon army arrives, fight begins.
Chapter 10: Descent: -Mara wreaks massive damage and drives away the attack, but descends back to demon in her frenzy. (When Koukatsu returns, he is strangely unconcerned). -Kagura, shadowing the troops, notices the waning moon, remembers Inuyasha (then Sesshomaru), hears Kokeyera and Reiko mention that Koukatsu isn’t enjoying the group’s music as much as before, Reiko explains it away (“millions of years passed for him”). -Troops return to Edo (Kagome has to go home). Troops follow Kagome to the Bone Eater’s well, Mara sees the well is a “place of holding”, but for what she doesn’t know, and Koukatsu isn’t forthcoming with answers. -Incarnations report back in failure, Naraku is uncharacteristically calm. Introduce reawakened agents of the Swarm (spiderlings).
Chapter 11: The Spiders are Coming: -Inuyasha has dream where Naraku has ‘sit’ pendant and Inuyasha is ‘sit’ing him. -Troops head out, Midarenko nearly kills Miroku. Shugojin (and Magic Shield) stops, Giniro heals him. Hir in-Yngyl is talked about, Koukatsu says Hir is the most evil of all raukar. Inuyasha mentions he’s picked up faint whiffs of strange spiders. -Naraku sends out incarnation to lead group of spiders in ‘test attack’. -Spider group approaches. Chapter ends with spider leaping, fangs ready.
Chapter 12: The Swarm in Chains: -Spiders spring surprise attack, but Shugojin pulls a surprise weapon: Mind Control, capturing many of them. Incarnation flees, leaving the spiders behind. -Kagura watches Shugojin Mind Controlling the spiders, returns to Naraku’s castle but doesn’t tell. -Incarnation reports failure, Naraku expected it. Naraku sends out a platoon of spiders led by a few incarnations, but this time the spiders insist a lieutenant come. Naraku suspects the swarm’s loyalty wavers from him. -Kagura, milling about the castle, stumbles on meeting of lieutenants, they ponder that Naraku doesn’t have the swarm’s best interests in mind and wonder where Hir in-Yngyl is.
Chapter 13: Dogs of War: -Troops stumble across Kouga, petty fight between Kouga and Inuyasha starts. Spiders find them and attack, combined groups beat them off (heavily with Kokeyera & Midarenko’s Fire magic, also uses Miroku’s Wind Tunnel). -Kagura watches the spiders lose, retreat, she returns to Naraku’s castle before she’s missed. On returning, she notices the spiders seem to be taking over (webs all over the place). -Lieutenant returns to Naraku to report losses to the swarm, requests time to recoup losses. Naraku, angry at the failure, refuses and orders more to go out immediately. -Troops (including Koukatsu) and Kouga’s tribe talk, argue. Koukatsu has Mara stay with the wolves while the others return to the well. (Mara was once a succubus, has no problem manipulating Kouga.) -Kagura, in Naraku’s castle, stumbles across meeting of swarm lieutenants, disgruntled, plotting to find Hir in-Yngyl and take down Naraku.
Chapter 14: Hole in Time: -On the way back to Edo, the troops stumble across scout/patrol group of spiders, Shugojin mind-controls more of them and his old ones show up. Argument starts: Giniro wants the spiders killed, Shugojin wants to keep them. -A spider scout, hidden in the forest to the side, watches the argument, notes Shugojin’s protection of his spiders. -Naraku realizes the swarm is taking over his castle (a section is off-limits to him), he suspects they are planning to revolt. -Troops return to Edo. Kagome comes from her time, Koukatsu talks about the importance of the well and its name (Bone Eater’s) – and accidentally reveals that it is Hir in-Yngyl’s prison. Night falls and Inuyasha becomes human. -Kagura, watching, notes Inuyasha becoming human, but her thoughts are on Koukatsu and how unwilling he was to talk about the well and Hir in-Yngyl. -Troops sit in Edo and talk about Hir in-Yngyl and some of Inuyasha’s fights (Goshinki?, Ryukoytsusei?, the bat demon tribe?, Menomaru). In the discussion on Menomaru, they mention more magic (Mana Darts) and Koukatsu takes interest in Kagome’s flying (someone perceptive notes that Koukatsu is slightly suspicious, as if he considers her a threat).
Chapter 15: Calm Before the Storm: -Sango and Kagome go to bathe in a spring, a lone spider scout comes to drink (“Spider!” “Human!”). -Kouga’s tribe fights against another spider patrol.
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Post by Ganheim on Nov 21, 2004 18:20:04 GMT -5
Chapter 16: My Enemy’s Enemy: -Kagome forgets some medical supplies, goes back (Reiko and Koukatsu go with her). Koukatsu watches them go through with “an uncharacteristic glare”. -Kagome returns to her time to find Tokyo gone and spiders everywhere. With Reiko’s help, they fight back (Reiko gets bitten), Kagome drags Reiko back to the feudal era. -Back in the feudal era, Koukatsu is suspiciously slow to help until Giniro arrives (he came to check on the delay). Giniro heals unconscious Reiko, Koukatsu (grudgingly) brings them to the others. -Troops head to re-join Mara with the wolves. -Kagura listens in to a report/meeting of the spider lieutenants talking 1st about Naraku’s inconsideration about the Swarm, 2nd about Japan being a “perfect place” (imply for invasion, but leave room for a “safe home for the spiderlings”), but she is noticed before she hears any more. -Kagura approaches the troops, Koukatsu closes Miroku’s Wind Tunnel and protects Kagura. She says the Swarm has begun taking over and asks for a truce. Inuyasha is bitterly opposed, but Miroku, Sango, and the others haven’t built such hatred for Naraku’s minion and want to hear more. Inuyasha hops up and draws the Tetsusaiga, smelling Naraku’s rapid approach.
Chapter 17: With Friends Like These: -Kokeyera notices that Koukatsu, who has the power, hasn’t stopped the attack, and Giniro demands he stop it. Koukatsu forcibly pauses Inuyasha’s attack to give Naraku the chance to explain himself before his death. Naraku explains that the Swarm seized his castle and drove him out, claims the lieutenants are going to try to revive Hir in-Yngyl. Koukatsu fears the possibility – Hir in-Yngyl is even more “evil” than he. Koukatsu talks more about the well, how if Hir in-Yngyl is revived, Kagome will never be able to go home, and the world will be destroyed – brings up what Kagome saw in the possible future. -Troops (now with Naraku in tow, carefully watched by suspicious Inuyasha) meet up with Mara and Kouga. Kouga is amazed Inuyasha hasn’t killed Naraku, and he himself has to be forcibly stopped from attacking him (again, Koukatsu is “uncharacteristically” slow to be the peacemaker). -Troops (everybody) walks, Mara (or Koukatsu?) mentions defensible hill and valley, they head there. Larger spider patrol meets them and fight begins.
Chapter 18: The Spiders are Coming: -Naraku’s minions join the fight, Naraku tries to back out but Koukatsu keeps him up. Koukatsu has to keep Inuyasha and Kouga focused on the spiders, not killing Naraku. -Troops collect information, Koukatsu worries about the strength and boldness of the Swarm even though Hir in-Yngyl hasn’t yet been awakened. -A village, protected by charms and Buddhist priests, easily repels a youkai (a centipede fleeing spiderlings, who web it down and bite it). Several spiderlings carefully step forward and test the boundary – a spiritual shield blocks them, though the monk defenders cause the spiderlings damage (one of the lieutenants holds a dying spiderling, make it a touching scene to question who’s really evil). The two lieutenants, who stood by and watch, pass through, destroying the charms and ripping open a hole for the swarm to enter. Blood spills.
Chapter 19: Fang and Claw: -Since the troops are approaching the hill, Koukatsu sends Mara to fetch the rest of the wolf tribes. -Village by the ‘water goddess’ evacuates to the temple to escape the spiders. The spiderlings are afraid of the water body. The ‘goddess’ accidentally summons Koukatsu when she sees the people fleeing the Swarm. He takes her with him after telling her about Hir. -With Koukatsu and Mara gone, the spiders launch a massive attack, Sango is badly wounded.
Chapter 20: Spider Valley: -Fight finishes, Sango is revived by Giniro’s paladin Healing Hands. -Koukatsu returns with the ‘water goddess’ (Kya), surprises others by not being angry that she took title ‘goddess’. Giniro is furious, learns her old name (turns out she’s one of Koukatsu’s old students). -Troops proceed to hill, run into the village and fight off the few spiderling sentries to go through the emptied, webbed ‘ghost town’. Shugojin recognizes the scene (like many destroyed villages in Blazinka). -Troops approach hill, Kagome finds the location on the map and recalls her grandfather saying it supposedly once was called ‘spider valley’. -Mara returns with the collected remains of the wolf tribes, digging and set-up of defensive positions begins. Everybody arrays for battle, and spiders approach from the other side of the valley.
(Somewhere ch19-20, Hir in-Yngyl must be revived. That’s also the only way the Swarm would so quickly stop in the upcoming battle. It's mainly chapter 21 that I'm nervous about, though I'm not so certain about chapter 22. Although I know that's basically what I want to end up with, I'm not certain if what I currently have written is exactly what I want)
Chapter 21: The Great Enemy: -The large group fights off the spiders, at the end of the battle Reiko shoots Koukatsu with a Stasis Arrow and Hir in-Yngyl calls the battle to a halt. - Flashbacks to reveal Koukatsu’s evil in all of the previous chapters: --Disappear during the battle against the mantis hoping some of them would get killed --Starting the heavy rains to mess around with Naraku and Inuyasha (so Kagome’s kidnapping and Kokeyera’s near kidnapping is indirectly his fault) --Cursing Kya so ‘mortal’ sutras would stop her (normally sutras don’t stop raukar) --Koukatsu was really the one stirring up trouble, Mara tried to stop him and he killed her. Koukatsu also killed Giniro -?
Chapter 22: Put to Rest: -Hir leaves -Kaizor troop talks about trying to get home. Giniro and Kokeyera don’t care; Reiko wants to continue to the Dark World; Shugojin wants to stay (he’s not sure, but he’s begun to like Sango) -Kagome has to return to home. She arrives in the present and meets Cadmus, who has already arrived
Okay, that's all I have. Any questions, comments, whatever will undoubtedly help me. By the way, what do you think of the chapter titles?
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Post by KarotsaMused on Nov 27, 2004 19:20:01 GMT -5
Heh, I think we all just realized we bit off more than we could chew. Little bits at a time, little bits at a time. Let's be superficial - right now, as an outline, this is pretty interesting. Nifty even. I like the chapter titles, as those don't often require a lot of thought but you put some in...and I grinned openly at "The Dogs of War" ...bahahaha. But let's see. The biggest problem here is the after-chapter-22 part, right? Or did I miss something? Really, nobody can tell you how to end it, but maybe once I've managed to read this monster I can put up some ideas. As for reading it, don't think me lazy. I know I've been promising to read it for a while, and I *WILL*...sooner or later. RL comes in and bites me in the arse.
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Post by Ganheim on Nov 28, 2004 16:03:42 GMT -5
Oof, yea, that is a little bit much now that I think about it. I've gotten most of the first half written and ready to post, so I probably don't even need that up there.
Chapter 20 is really where the serious oddities start, because I've gotten more than the rough outline I posted written, but I keep on finding myself unsatisfied with what I've got and I re-write it, even if my re-write ends up as no more than a rephrase. That's what I did to the fight scene in chapters 11-12, I looked at it and decided I didn't like it, so I rewrote it. Still, I'm glad I did, because I think the rewrite is far superior.
Anyway, starting with chapter 17 where I can't decide who picks the final battle location, and from there little things pop up (like 'should I be compressing these events more?' and small questions like that).
Sorry if I put out too much, maybe the writing it out in full checked form will help. I post those, by the way, I just wait until people mention somehow that they're reading. Reviews are nice, but I'm not putting up things like "I demand x reviews for the next chapter", I'm going to post the next one when I know that somebody's read the last. Should I just be posting these as soon as I have the chapters checked?
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Post by KarotsaMused on Nov 28, 2004 16:28:59 GMT -5
Heh, well, post whenever you feel comfortable with posting. Hopefully this evening I'll have a bit of time to sit down and really power through some of your work and try to answer those little questions. I understand your policy of rewriting - I do that all the time. Totally normal, s'long as you always stay open to new comments and criticisms. It's always hard to know when people are actually reading your work, because very few bother to review.
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