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Post by cesmith on Sept 1, 2004 4:49:19 GMT -5
Ok, sounds good. I'll have to wait till my son is up to figure out the "where to send it" part. I am computer illiterate, but I learn fast.
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Post by therhoda on Sept 1, 2004 6:42:42 GMT -5
Got an email address with a decent size box? I will send you a file and if you are on a windows box it isn't that hard. IT will pop it up in word for you. (can You tell I do tech suport in this family) ;D
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Post by kanshu on Sept 1, 2004 8:48:39 GMT -5
Got the file, and will start working on it when I'm home. And I know *that* song. Loved the Blues Brothers version.
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Post by cesmith on Sept 1, 2004 16:30:31 GMT -5
You can send it to my AOL account. It's big enough. I want to take computer classes, but missed the sign up at the College, so have to wait until Mid-winter to start. My son is our resident computer genius. He better be, that's what he went to College for.
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Post by kanshu on Sept 1, 2004 23:48:20 GMT -5
*pokes therhoda* Oi... I hope I didn't overkill you with all the blue... It's really just polishing and minor readjustments!
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Post by therhoda on Sept 2, 2004 6:33:03 GMT -5
No you bring up alot of points. It was helpful, although I can see I am still relying on descriptors that you know from the series. Such as the only boy that wears leather is Haru. So if You know the series that is enough to Identify him for you. SO some of your confusion is I really need to do an identify gallery or something.
Glad you liked the Song in his chapter the truly funny part of it is that Haru the singer is the COW in the Zodiac. Which is where a lot of the humor for that first part come in. Would it help if I sent You a list of who is who and what they are respectfully. as they all have like 6 use names, descriptors, and other things used to identify them.
Now fro ce's turn!
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Post by kanshu on Sept 2, 2004 7:03:46 GMT -5
I'm glad that the beta wasn't too overwhelming. Actually, it would be better to just "drop in the info casually" when Haru shows up for the first time in your fiction. Haru, clad in a pair of brand new red leather pants and matching vest, sat down with a sigh.This is much easier than a gallery, and it makes a nice "mood" piece for the reader.
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Post by therhoda on Sept 4, 2004 10:23:02 GMT -5
Ok thanks to the wonders of ce and Opti I felt the next chapter was ready for the world. as a kind of present to myself and anyone who was looking forward to this next chapter.
Hope you like it!
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Post by kanshu on Sept 4, 2004 10:58:40 GMT -5
Oi.
Rewarding yourself is all fine, but...
You know, not to sound arrogant or anything, but it is common habit to resend the chapter to the beta reader for final comments *before* posting it.
Please don't praise me for the chapter as it is now.
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Post by therhoda on Sept 4, 2004 12:28:18 GMT -5
opps, didn't mean to step on toes. I just normally composite and go. I will now know to resend you that beta-ed copy. If you could have sen My husband laughing at me with me having Opti's and ce's up along side the one I sent you. with me going, oh yeah, and all the normal noises of me editing. This is how I have been workign with Melli all along I never thought to ask if there should be differences.
IF the chapter bothers you I will go in and edit it. Sorry I know better than to assume. but I did it anyway.
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Post by kanshu on Sept 4, 2004 12:48:40 GMT -5
Well, you still have an awful lot of incomplete sentences in it. Remember all the sentences I markes with "Who is..."? They were lacking the subject - the person who does something.
For example: Noticing half of the promised audience isn't in the room, he decides to make a retreat. Turning the mic back off. (Like this sentence pair)
Either, you connect the two sentences with a comma, or you give the second sentence something like a "He".
See, I know my English is not very good, but those are very obvious issues. And when you praise me for "betaing" and these very avoidable are in the story that I told you about in the beta, it just won't do.
That makes you look bad for finding a beta who isn't doing their job, and makes me look like a moron for giving you the thumbs up. Post whatever you want, it is your story. Just don't praise me for a job that wasn't completed.
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Post by therhoda on Sept 4, 2004 13:08:57 GMT -5
Chapter was pulled and will be down till it isn't an embarasment to anyone involved.
Well I am off for the rest of the weekend. I hope Opti feels better.
Hugs all around! Good Labor day to all us yanks, and hey hope everyone else has a holiday type feeling this weekend.
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Post by kanshu on Sept 6, 2004 6:25:04 GMT -5
Yes, the fever's gone completly. Still sniffling, but much better. Thanks!
As for the chapter, don't worry, k? You basic writing is good, and you do have talent. The main problem is in grammar and sentence structure, but when you tackle it down with patience, you'll master that fast, too.
*hugs*
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Post by Salmastryon on Sept 6, 2004 6:35:21 GMT -5
Grammar is EVIL. I do a lot of editing and my own writing is still riddled with grammar and spelling errors. In fact it is a running joke that I make grammar and spelling mistakes all the time, but that I'm really good and correcting them. Go figure.
The nice thing about grammar is that it can be fixed with a little work and it provides big dividends in story improvement. ;D
Keep up the work!
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Post by therhoda on Sept 6, 2004 16:01:16 GMT -5
Yeah patience isn't one of my virtues. sadly I have very little but I am the stubborn type. So I tend to either go over under or around things. Well I think I have beaten 6 into submission! Now we can begin to rounds on 7, 8, 9, which are also all done!! I think that is why I got so excited on 6 the idea of getting to these others. Luckly I think I am going to only need 4 more chapters to get to an end i can live with. Hopefully I won't have any kind of inspiration that will spur more chapters than that. Hatori is proving very very uncooperative!!
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