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Post by Salmastryon on Oct 4, 2004 15:28:26 GMT -5
There is some formality in the english language with modes of address, but not to the extent as in other languages. Also, in english formality is more contextual. Done through body language decreasing and increasing of slang that sorta thing.
I personally will give my mom a kiss on the cheek when I'm off to bed or somehting but not in public. Kisses are too intimate for casual PDA. Hugs are wierd. Depends on people, for girls hugs are okay, for guys not so okay. Also depends on the social situation. Airports weddings etc... it is okay, otherwise it is more of a in privacy of own home sorta thing. The exception to the above being the young couple inlove who seem to be able to get away with all sorta of PDA. Though not cheek kissing they go direct for mouth.
Ironic ya know I always acknowledged how cheek kissing was a european thing I didn't realize hugs might see wierd. Something to ponder.
I do know that in Japan PDA traditionally is not acceptable. Holding hands was a big thing there Dunno how much teenage culture has changed. Last I knew though first kiss was still a big thing as was the Xmas date and the holding of hands in public.
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Post by Me-Nuriko on Oct 4, 2004 16:05:33 GMT -5
Interesting how things are seen so differently in different cultures. In Sweden, friends (girls that is) hug each other if they don't have seen each other for a while, if they meet on a party or an unexpected place, for comfort, as a thanks, or something like that.
Girls also hug friends that are boys, and boys hug female friends, in the same places and circumstances as mentioned above. (They don't have to have a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship) Boy's don't usually hug each other, but it's not unheard of.
We don't kiss each other on the cheek. My Russian friend do that, though, and my friend from Iran. And my husbands grandmother kisses on the cheek.
Is it only young people who can hold hands and kiss each other in public in the U.S.? I often walk hand in hand with my husband, and we kiss publicly, but maybe not French kisses. And we're far from the only couple in our age or older to do that.
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Post by cesmith on Oct 4, 2004 16:13:20 GMT -5
It's funny, for me, hugs are my way of greeting a friend. After all the years I've been around little children, there is seldom a time I've been uncomfortable welcoming someone with a hug. Children are the ultimate bear huggers and we say hello, thank you, I love you, I missed you and goodbye with a hug everyday. With some of the children I ask them first and if they say no, I won't give them a hug.
When first meeting someone I usually do the girl hand shake, or just lean forward and say hello.
Poor Rhoda got a big hug, never even thought about it at the time, just did it.
Formality in the English language. I still remember saying Yes, Ma'am or No sir to my teachers. Not anymore though.
Haven't heard the term PDA since I spent my Freshman year of college in a Missionary school turned Teaching College.
Paul and I hold hands as we walk through the Mall shopping. We don"t usually kiss in public, but I'm sure we have at times.
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Post by kitsuneoni on Oct 5, 2004 5:24:22 GMT -5
Hugging here is very much like Me-Nuriko described, it's just me that's weird about it.
Girls hug girls, guys and girls hug each other, guys hugging guys is rare but can happen. Same thing with the kisses on each cheek.
I personally dislike couples who french kiss in public. I just think that's a personal thing, to do in your own private time. Not in the middle of a street or a school corrider. An occasional kiss is cute, holding hands is fine, but *some* decency... Sometimes I feel they're just doing it for show.
It is true that English portrays respect in a more subtle way, not as clear-cut as other languages. When I'm speaking to someone formally, I use elevated diction (or try) and my posture is more... formal, standing straight, etc.
It's funny, I just realized. In Italian when pretending to be formal you can use the proper language but have aggressive body language, with English I find my word choice becomes more selective and sarcastic whereas my body language remains the same.
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Post by kanshu on Oct 6, 2004 1:49:42 GMT -5
In the town I live, there's a huge cultural clash. The turkish part of the population greets each other with kisses to the cheeks (meaning, that if you have a group of 5 people, each will great the other with a 'bussi'). The kiss to the cheek used to be some high society thing in the south, but is generally frowned upon nowadays for normal greetings. You shake hands. Slaps on the shoulders are generally accepted between males, but letting a hand rest on someone's shoulder is considered a challenging gesture ('patronizing'). Hugs are okay as a greeting between males, or females, or males&females, though it indicates a closer relationship/friendship. Strangers would never hug. There's also a good share of Italians, Chinese and French living here, so add in the special mannerisms for those cultures, too.
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Post by kitsuneoni on Oct 6, 2004 2:19:45 GMT -5
Don't you ever get confused as to how to greet someone, then?
And in Japan, how do they know how to greet different people? There are so many different modes of address I'd get confused. *sighs*
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Post by Ganheim on Nov 19, 2004 18:02:06 GMT -5
And in Japan, how do they know how to greet different people? There are so many different modes of address I'd get confused. *sighs* That's something I've always wondered. Now, while I haven't taken any formal classes on Japanese culture yet, I've heard that addressing someone with improper formality (especially being too informal) is a faux pas. So how do you greet somebody you don't know?
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Post by narrizan on Jun 19, 2005 13:45:24 GMT -5
i worked for a jap co. for some time and in the world of business most will accept that foreigners may not know all the ins and outs of their culture...referring to someone as -san will normally do for a first time and then when you perhaps find out more about said individual...you can then apply the more honorific -dono, or -sama...if you acknowledge that they hold a higher rank, level of respect or whatever than you do.
for teachers, doctors and even monks to the -sensei as a suffix will suffice. you amy also use -hakase for Drs, or professors...as in Nii-hakase
any faux pas will usually be taken along with good humour if they can sense that you haven't done it intentionally and will be more than glad to point you in the right direction. but if you can find out before hand how to greet simply, and a little bow will go a long way, and they will simply love you for the effort you have tried to make.
using the suffixes -chan is usually for children, but also among friends is ok. -kun is the male equivalent of chan..although -chan is not solely reserved for girls.
i have to add i am NOT an expert this is just something i have picked up and i have no formal education into japanese culture.
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