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Post by stavner on Nov 15, 2005 18:36:12 GMT -5
A script. But if you want, I'll do it in prose.
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Post by kanshu on Nov 16, 2005 11:09:50 GMT -5
Well... it's not really a matter of what I want. Unless, of course, you are writing this specifically for me to read. See, you have to decide what you want to do with this story. What everyone else wants is secondary, because you are the author, and writingyour story has to please you foremost. Of course, there's the point of publishing, aka as posting a story in an archive of your choice, or on your webpage, or a mailing list. If you just want to share for the sake of sharing, fine. However, if you want to attract an audience, you might want to look into what the audience likes, and see what of those 'popular things' you want to incorporate into your writing. For example, prose is generally preferred to script form, as far as readers are concerned. I'm not saying that everyone likes prose better, but a majority prefers it. Or, perhaps people like story written in past tense, while your story might be in present tense. You write a deathfic while the readers want a romance. So you see, there often is a gap between what you write and what your audience might want to see. It could result in stories that no one outside of you and your best friend will read, or a story that everyone loves but that you can't stand writing any more. Or, ideally, you love to write the story and more than just your best friend will like it. In the end, it boils down to "write what you want, in the style you prefer".
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Post by stavner on Nov 17, 2005 17:15:50 GMT -5
Do you know of any fanfic websites that would take a story in comics script form?
I'd like to write comics for Disney someday. Would my putting a script up on the Internet, or writing fanfic at all, hurt my chances of doing this?
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Post by kanshu on Nov 17, 2005 17:33:33 GMT -5
You could try www.animespiral.com. Writing for Disney and posting fanfic - generally, I don't think it will do harm, as long as you don't try to sell them something you posted as fanfic. I'd also would strictly remain hidden under a pen name and create an account that's not identical with your business account. Oh, and you might find this page interesting: www.asascreenwriters.com/
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Post by stavner on Nov 27, 2005 19:05:11 GMT -5
New outline:
The story begins in the present day, with Becky and her employees going through her husband's old things. They find a statue or artifact that could be valuable; Becky decides to put it up for sale.
That night, she has a dream, in which the origin of Becky's monsterdom is retold: Sekhmet looks over all the people at the site and chooses Becky, Richard is captured by monsters, etc. (see previous revision). She wakes up, wondering what her dream is about.
The buyer calls Becky and arranges to pick up the artifact at a warehouse, his place of business. Becky et al. show up, and, while waiting for the guy, Becky has a vision of her husband's death from influenza and Becky's rejecting her power, and Sekhmet's telling her that she can get the power back if she needs it, and burying the memories of Becky's monsterdom so Becky wouldn't get rid of the artifact--the link to her regaining her power. Becky wonders why the memories were awakened now, but....
Then the guy and some goons show up. It turns out he lied to Becky and wants the artifact without paying her. Becky refuses, and the guys pull out guns. Then Becky takes back the power, and becomes a monster. She beats up the goons, and only avoids killing the bad guy because she sees that her daughter is afraid. She changes back, leaves the bad guys for the police, and everyone else asks, "What's all this about?"
This will be Part One of an ongoing story.
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Post by stavner on Dec 5, 2005 20:04:31 GMT -5
About the last post: I think I should eliminate the parts where Becky is reminded of her past; that should come out as she investigates this. Part One should end with Becky saying, "I don't know."
I think the monster's personality is the same as Becky's, except that it's the part of her that we see whenever she gets mad. Whenever people get extremely angry, or extremely any other emotion, they seem like completely different people. I've also thought that, in some way, Becky likes becoming a monster; she can use the monster to protect herself and others, and express her anger more effectively than by just sputtering at someone.
What do you think?
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Post by kanshu on Dec 6, 2005 6:02:13 GMT -5
Eliminate the reminder: That sounds like a good idea. It should add more tension if you throw in the occasional tidbit rather than giving out 'everything at once'. Monster personality/Becky personality: Mhm, I do see a problem there. Part of Becky's personality is to supress her anger, right? She has a tendency to control herself, because for her it has worked best as a coping strategy. Now, you give her a 'safe outlet' for being unrestrained, kind of like someone putting on a cloak, hood and mask (or being a screen name on the internet). As you write, Becky likes this; the monster makes her feel strong (and better/justified?) in her actions. I understand that she only turns a monster when her emotions get out of control, but wouldn't the lure of "efficiency" lower her inhibitions to repress her emotions? This is kind of like people being complete asshats over the net, while in real life they are shy and barely able to open their mouths... up to the point when they go and take a gun and shoot everyone down. (Okay, that's stretching it a bit, I know that not every asshat online is going to turn into a homicidal maniac. What I mean is that you have a huge potential for inner conflict there. Becky, perhaps, will not notice the changes, but others will. She's more likely to use the 'drug' of turning monster on people consciously sooner or later... I don't know if my ramblings make any sense at all.
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Post by stavner on Dec 6, 2005 15:41:56 GMT -5
Actually, the character easily gets angry all the time. She likes turning into the monster because she can do more against, say, somebody with a gun, besides yelling at them. But you are right about the potential for conflict! Becky could be even worse as the monster than she is normally; one guy I talked to on another board said the Becky monster should be like Becky on a bad day, with a headache--and I'd add, PMS . I'm going to start posting my story soon; thanks for all your help!
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Post by stavner on Dec 6, 2005 15:59:20 GMT -5
RE: My story
My story begins with a buyer wanting to buy some leftover artifacts from Becky. Would an archeologist keep old artifacts, even if they were not very valuable, and could he do so legally? I think Sekhmet's power is kept inside a small ring.
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Post by kanshu not logged in on Dec 6, 2005 16:48:24 GMT -5
Re Becky: Well, she might get angry, but not to the point where she actually passes the line to actual violence - which is precisely what the monster does. Keep in mind that the monster isn't just about being huge and strong and able to roar... it's mostly about being able to beat the heck out of the opponent. Re Archeology: Try these links egyptology.blogspot.com/2005_08_01_egyptology_archive.htmlwings.buffalo.edu/anthropology/Documents/lootbib.shtmlGenerally, it depends on the laws of the country they are digging in. For example, in my country, whatever is found in the ground (within a certain depth range) belongs to the owner of said ground. As far as I know, in Egypt, everything that's found in a legal excavation belongs to Egypt. I haven't heard of any foreign archeologist group that was able to carry away the treasures they found. Also, they try to get back mummies and other material that were taken by archeologists in the past few centuries. However, Egypt will sell artefacts for fund raising...
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Post by stavner on Dec 10, 2005 18:05:16 GMT -5
Here's the first part of my story. Pay attention to Mr. Henderson's business methods.
Sekhmet Part one
It’s been a long time. My servant has remained unaware of herself for far too long. It is almost time to awaken her.
Rebecca Cunningham watched the handsome tiger walk through the front door of Higher for Hire.
“Can I help you sir?” she said, hoping he’d bring some business her way.
“Yes, if you’re Rebecca Cunningham. Your husband, Richard, used to work for the Cape Suzette Museum of Natural History, which I represent.”
“Well, I know the museum, but I’ve never met you. Your name is–?
“William Henderdson. Our records show that he bought some artifacts from the Egyptian government, items which I would like to buy from you. I will pay you top prices for them. I believe that some of them are worth, say, thousands of dollars?”
Rebecca Cunningham was giving orders in her usual way: efficiently and with some irritation.
“Hurry up, Baloo! Those boxes aren’t going to move themselves!”
“Aw, Becky, these are heavy!” said Baloo. “Can’t I lift ‘em one at a time?”
“Okay, just lift two at a time,” said Becky. “Mr. Henderson asked if my husband had anything to sell, and he won’t wait forever!”
Baloo lifted two crates at once, and set them down again quickly.
“Open those first, Baloo.”
Baloo grabbed a crowbar and pried open the top of the crate.
Becky looked inside. “Hm, not much here, just some cans of beef stew. Mr. Henderson wanted artifacts.”
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Post by narrizan on Dec 13, 2005 0:40:16 GMT -5
Hello, Hello! I have been following this thread, believe it or not. I only remember 'Talespin' vaguely. Anyway, just a little aside: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY Hope you have a fun filled day and you get all that you wished for!
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Post by cesmith on Dec 13, 2005 9:38:03 GMT -5
I'd like to join narrizan in wishing you
Happy Birthday.
I hope that it was everything you wished it would be and you shared it with people who care about you.
I, too, have been following your Tail Spin story. I do have a question. Is it based on the old cartoon that was on tv 15 plus years ago? (*shudder* It's actually closer to 20 years ago I think.) I used to watch it every afternoon with my children when they were small, though I remember little about it except the names of the characters. Or is there are more current adaptation, since I don't remember Rebecca being able to transform.
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Post by stavner on Dec 13, 2005 9:54:10 GMT -5
Thanks! The TS stpry is, I guess, an "alternate universe" story where Becky was, in the past, able to transform, but has had her memory of that blocked.
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Post by stavner on Dec 26, 2005 22:35:51 GMT -5
Here's the latest version of the first part of my story--should I still post here?
Sekhmet Part one
Prologue: Becky’s Dream
I’m nowhere–all around me, there’s nothing but black emptiness. I can’t see anything–my child, my friends, nothing.
All of a sudden, there’s a blinding flash of light. It’s a fireball, as big as the sun. In fact, it is the sun. There’s something even bigger than the sun behind it–it’s a giant lioness, in an Egyptian outfit, holding the sun in the palm of her hand.
“You have slept for too long, my child,” she says. “Soon you will awaken.”
Then she blows the fireball right towards me. I wake up.
Chapter One
Rebecca Cunningham had been waking up from the same dream for the past three days, and for some reason, she always felt hot upon waking.
“What does this dream mean, anyway?” she always wondered. But most of the time, she put the dream out of her mind as she took a shower, got dressed, made breakfast for herself and her daughter Molly, and went to work.
The hot feeling lasted for a couple of hours.
Rebecca Cunningham watched the handsome tiger walk through the front door of Higher for Hire.
“Can I help you sir?” she said, hoping he’d bring some business her way.
“Yes, if you’re Rebecca Cunningham. Your husband, Richard, used to work for the Cape Suzette Museum of Natural History, which I represent.”
“Well, I know the museum, but I’ve never met you. Your name is–?
“William Henderdson. Our records show that he bought some artifacts from the Egyptian government, items which I would like to buy from you. I will pay you top prices for them. I believe that some of them are worth, say, thousands of dollars?”
Rebecca Cunningham was giving orders in her usual way: efficiently and with some irritation.
“Hurry up, Baloo! Those boxes aren’t going to move themselves!”
“Aw, Becky, these are heavy!” said Baloo. “Can’t I lift ‘em one at a time?”
“Okay, just lift two at a time,” said Becky. “Mr. Henderson asked if my husband had anything to sell, and he won’t wait forever!”
Baloo lifted two crates at once, and set them down again quickly.
“Open those first, Baloo.”
Baloo grabbed a crowbar and pried open the top of the crate.
Becky looked inside. “Hm, not much here, just some cans of beef stew. Mr. Henderson wanted artifacts.”
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