Break the Fifteenth

[KarotsaMused]

I posed the question at the end of chapter fifteen and am posing it here as well.

Hakkai has a library, Sanzo has cable television, Gojyo has a stereo, and Goku has videogames. Yaone, as recently added, has state-of-the-art cookware ranging from a George Foreman grill to her new blender. Nii will most probably get a bottomless toybox.
BUT!

WHAT does everybody else get? One unique luxury amenity from the outside world. The only things that are off-limits are things used to communicate with said outside, such as a telephone or any messaging service over the internet.

I'd like to know what everybody thinks the canon characters from Saiyuki would choose. The characters I'll touch upon are:
Kougaiji
Dokugakuji
Lirin
Homura
Zenon
Shien
Tenpou
Kenren
Konzen
Goku (Gaiden era)
Nii
Koushu
Goujun
Hakuryuu

...I may go further with those such as Litouten or Nataku, but that depends on what you guys think. I'm really at a loss here

[kanshu]

One item... mmm...

Kougaiji = his mom, of course (preverably awake, but otherwise, the stone thing)

Dokugakuji = a collection of sappy romance movies & books

Lirin = a computer, and the games that Goku doesn't have (like, Sim Date )

Homura = a holodeck-suite, with his revived Beloved (forgot her name) as constant companion.
If that's impossible, how about a greenhouse or a garden with lots of plants?

Zenon = a holodeck-suite with his revived Beloved&son as constant companion.
Otherwise... how about a place where he can do woodwork art? You know, wooden carvings and sculptures...

Shien = a private shrink

Tenpou = a library with all the books that Hakkai doesn't have

Kenren = a collection of the finest Sake (endless supply)
Oi, that would probably end with Hakkai becoming a permanent resident in Kenren's appartement...

Konzen = maybe that massage chair you mentioned?

Goku (Gaiden era) = Comics/Manga. Tons of them.

Nii = Other than his bunny? ;D

Hakuryuu = Uhhh... the brand new 'Peeping Tom' video surveilance system that allows him to peep into all the fanfics where he isn't mentioned often?

[KarotsaMused]

Eternally grateful. I love those suggestions, especially the one with Homura and the greenhouse. You'd definitely know him better than I would ;D
I laughed aloud at a few of those - especially Kenren's...thanks a ton

[kanshu]

*pictures scene*

Hakkai&Kenren start a drinking contest

and

Gojyo is all consumed by playing SimDate on Lirin's computer, while Doku gives him hints about how to pick up girls reading scenes from one of his novels out loud

and

Lirin, Goku and Chibi-Goku room in with Yaone and make her cook all day. They bring along Goku's game console and Chibi-Goku's manga

and

Tenpou steals Hakkai's books to complete his library

and

Homura gets a prize for growing the biggest potates

and

Kou bumps into Shien's shrink, who immideatly realizes that the guy has a problem with(out) mommy.

while

Zenon starts carving small animals, specializing in the 'Three Monkeys' (Don't look, Don't Speak, Don't listen)

and

Sanzo&Konzen get into a fight over the massage chair

meanwhile...

Dr. Nii enlists the help of Shien and manipulates the fanfic-alert message system...



Only Hakuryuu is happy. Goujun found him and now the two drive off into the sunset, away from all the crazy people...

And in the Real World...

Saiyuki fanfic writing comes to an abrupt halt.

;D

[KarotsaMused]

Excuse my hysterical laughter. I couldn't quite regain my composure after
"Homura gets a prize for growing the biggest potates"

Aside from sending the world of Saiyuki fanfiction careening into oblivion...I think a drinking contest between Hakkai and Kenren would be one of the most frustrating events ever. That thing could last for DAYS

I also imagine there would be quite a row over the shrink if Kou and Shien had to share. Oh, dear. Next request from the others: Bomb shelter.

[kanshu]

*bows* Glad to be of service.
Well, it started out as a "What would happen if Kenren&Hakkai start a drinking contest"... and then I realized that, if you pull out those two characters, everyone else will wander around.

And indeed, such a contest would last a very long time. And if there's finally a winner, it would take quite a while until the guys are sober enough to work once more.

Don't know about the shrink. I mean, maybe they make it a group therapy?
*snickers*
Oi, I just have this image of a group therapy of each gang, where you have to hug each other and tell the other that you like them... ;D

[therhoda]

Oh GOD!! i want group therapy!!! I mean imagine Sanzo having to say he has a problem. With the whole gang there to say something like- it is ok Sanzo, we love you. Try to keep a straight face. I dare you. just imagine the kind of comments. Of course to make it truly priceless you have to try and imagine them all in one room anyway. OF course who would be the one to run the group?

[kanshu]

Oh yeah, I can see it now...

Sanzo: This is stupid. I'm not doing this!
Hakkai: But Sanzo... You'll feel much better afterwards.
Goku: Yeah, and I really liked the group hug.
Gojyo: I liked Yaone's hug much better. ;D
*smack*(fx: paper fan)
Sanzo: I'm so *not* going to hug anyone!
Shrink: But, Genjo, my boy... You have to let go...!
Sanzo: *twitch* Die.
Shrink: *squeek*
Shien&Kou: If you kill him, we'll kill you!
Sanzo: Ch!
Goku: Sanzo... Pleeeease. I'm hungry.
Sanzo: So? Go and eat something.
Goku: I can't. They won't let us out until you fess up.
Sanzo: *twitch* Fess up? *whacks Goku over the head with paper fan* What's that supposed to mean, stupid ape?
Hakkai: There, there, Sanzo... Goku only wanted to suggest that you just tell everyone how you feel about us.
Gojyo: Yeah, yer know, the entire part about how much you like us and all... ;D
Sanzo: *twitch* Like *twitch* you? *whacks fan over Gojyo and Goku's head*
Goku: You brute! That hurt!
Gojyo: You're not cute at all, you know that?
Sanzo: I'll kill you. You're so dead. Seriously.
Shrink: Genjo, I think you have a slight attitude problem...
Hakkai, Goku, Gojyo & the rest: SLIGHT?
Sanzo: Shut up. Die already.

... or something like that.

[KarotsaMused]

Oh...oh, my. I'm glad psychiatry is not my strong suit.

I laugh aloud at the concept of group therapy and wondering just -exactly- where everybody's hands will be during those big group hugs. Sanzo's got 'em out at arm's length, screamin' 'no touch' vibes...and then they all dogpile on the blonde

As for the Kenren vs Hakkai drinking contest...we're coming up on chapter twenty-one pretty fast and I've got a thing with special chapter numbers. Hmmm...

[kanshu]

Hehe... And Konzen would stand there, having a fit of jealousy because everyone piles on Sanzo, and not him?

You know, in the Manga, the drinking contest from the anime also includes Goku. Goku loves alcohol, or so he says, but he doesn't have much tolerance for the stuff...
Of course, you could also start a drinking contest between the Konzen and the Sanzo gang. *snickers*
If you count out Goku (for 'being even, as I doubt that Konzen will let have Chibi-Goku any alcohol... or how about having Kougaji replace Goku, and Homura/Zenon replace Chibi-Goku? ;D) then that should be a very interesting contest. I wonder if Konzen holds *any* alcohol...

[KarotsaMused]

I heard that Goku couldn't really hold his liquor either. I'd be frightened of him drunk, though. o.O;

Sadly enough I think I'm already plotting out the scene...
Hakkai and Kenren sitting quietly and happily at a table, Tenpou and Sanzo leaning against the kitchen counter, smoking, the two Gokus fighting over Konzen who's irked that Sanzo is smoking and fudging up his reincarnated body.

...But who will win the contest?

[kanshu]

Goku's just passing out when he's drunk, no danger there.

As for Konzen... Dunno, but shouldn't he get rather miffed about what kind of person he has become? Apart from the smoking.

As for, who's going to win... Kanzeon, of course

[KarotsaMused]

Somehow a passed-out-drunk Goku could ostensibly be more fun than a loud-funny-drunk Goku. Because then Gojyo gets to play with markers (See: "He drew on my feet while I was asleep!" Gensomaden episode somethingorother)

Konzen probably wouldn't take to Sanzo all that well, would he? ^^; But the smoking would probably be pretty up there on his litany of complaints.

Kanzeon wins...it feels like cheating in a way, but then again Hakkai was pitted against Kenren in the first place and those odds, even for Hakkai, are a bit skewed. And Kanzeon even mildly buzzed could be detrimental to all spectators...makes me wonder where Jiroushin is for all of this...

[kanshu]

LOL... Reminds me of the Reload Urasei where Hakkai used permanent marker to draw open eyes on Goku's sleeping face. Not as good as Sanzo in the rendeer costume, but still worth a laugh.
Uh, yes, Reload had its own "Breakroom", 30 seconds at the end of every episode.

Konzen/Sanzo: I'm pretty sure the two would be stuck in bitch fighting most of the time. Though, Sanzo might actually be able to make Konzen speechless with his dirty mouth. And I don't even want to imagine the two going into a sulk contest...


Jiro? He would be watching the baby, of course.
I don't know, maybe Kanzeon coming in an cheating, it would be like in all the fics where she wanders in and resolves all odds, so that everyone can live happily ever after.

[selenqui]

You know what I just thought of when you mentioned the baby?

Gojyo's quints. It seems that particular fanfic author is really having fun with that idea--those quints need to go through the terrible twos, start growing up, etc. There's probably plenty to complain about within that fic.

Yay randomness :-)